How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #1) - DeYtH Banger (latest ebook reader .txt) 📗

that a turned on light bulb creates light because every person that comes into contact with it will experience light. You could claim that a flame creates heat because when anyone comes into contact with a flame, they will experience heat. 

 

 

 

 

What would happen if a stranger said “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you”?

 

Now, take a moment to imagine a very untrustworthy stranger. Imagine that you’re walking down the street and then this untrustworthy stranger approaches you in the street and says the same comment (words) to you as the person who you think made you feel hurt. For instance, imagine that the untrustworthy stranger said “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” How do you think you would feel? You probably wouldn’t feel much of an emotional reaction at all.

If the words themselves created your hurt, then when the stranger spoke those same words to you, you would also feel hurt. So why wouldn’t you feel hurt or broken hearted when the stranger said the same comment to you? It is simply because you wouldn’t believe their words to be true. If you don’t believe what the other person is saying to be true, their words can’t create emotions. Your hurt and “broken heart” can’t be created by what someone said to you, it can only be created by your belief that their words are true.

 

 

What creates your feeling of hurt when someone explicitly says something negative to you

 

Right after you got rejected, you seem to immediately feel hurt. But, something happens in between the rejection and your feeling of hurt.

When someone says something negative to you, you don’t just hear it, then focus on whatever is happening in the next moment. As soon as you hear the negative comment about you, you begin to unconsciously think that their opinion is true. Once you think that someone’s negative opinion about you is true, you feel hurt.

What creates your “broken heart” when you get rejected

When someone rejects you without saying anything negative about you, you will likely begin to immediately think 2 things. First, you decide what the other person thinks about you, and then you believe that their opinion must be right. In other words, you make an assumption about what they think about you, and then you form the conclusion that what they think must be true. Here are a few common examples:

 

The assumption about what they think: “He thinks I’m not good enough”, “He thinks something is wrong with me”, or “He doesn’t think I am worthy of love” The conclusion that what they think must be true: “If he thinks I’m not good enough, then I must not be good enough”, “If he thinks something is wrong with me, there must be something wrong with me”, or “If he doesn’t think I am worthy of love, then I must not be worthy of love”

You may be aware of these thoughts or you may not be. But if you’re feeling hurt, they are there.

Once we believe these negative thoughts about ourselves, we are essentially worsening our opinion of ourselves. When our opinion of ourselves worsens, we experience the feeling of hurt or being broken hearted. (I won’t get into the details of why this creates hurt in this post).

 

How to stop feeling hurt (how to heal a broken heart)

 

If you want to know how to heal a broken heart, or how to stop feeling hurt by someone else’s rejection, insult, or disapproval, here it is: All you need to do to heal a broken heart is recognize that you don’t actually know whether someone’s opinion about you is true. That just because they have a specific opinion about you, it doesn’t mean that their opinion is correct. It would seem obvious that we can’t know whether someone’s opinion is true, but we very easily lose sight of this as we go through life.

If our partner insults us or breaks up with us, we tend to think that there’s something “wrong” with us. If our boss insults us or fires us, we are likely to believe that we aren’t “good enough”. If our parents disapprove of us, we might believe that we’re unworthy or insufficient. In other words, when someone else believes that we aren’t “perfect”, we often believe them.

 

 

An analogy to help you see why rejection doesn’t mean that you aren’t “good enough”

 

To understand the flaw in this logic, let’s look at a quick analogy. Imagine you are with your four-year-old son as he plays one of his games at home. He has several wooden shapes that he is trying to place in matching holes on a wooden board. Now imagine that your son picks up a square shape and tries to put it in a triangle-shaped hole, and then says to you, “Mommy (or Daddy), the square isn’t good enough for this hole”. What would you say to him? Probably something like, “Sweetie, just because the square doesn’t fit, it doesn’t mean that the square isn’t good enough or that there is something wrong with it”.

The same is true with all of our relationships in life. If someone breaks up with you, fires you, or disapproves of you, that doesn’t mean that you are not “perfect”. That simply means you don’t fit their definition of “perfect”. To go back to the analogy, this means you don’t fit in the shape of theirhole. Just because you don’t fit the shape of their hole, that doesn’t mean you aren’t “good enough” for them.

You can’t be “not good enough”

 

You can’t be “not good enough” and there can’t be something “wrong” with you because there is no such thing as “good enough” or “wrong”. These concepts don’t exist as facts. They only exists as thoughts in each person’s mind. But it’s not as though everyone has the same concept about what is “not good enough” and “perfect”. Each of us has completely different definitions of what we think is “good” and “bad”, “right” and “wrong”, “helpful” and “harmful”, “beautiful” and “ugly”, “funny” and “boring”.

What one guy finds unattractive, another one may find attractive. What one girl thinks is annoying, another girl may love. What one boss believes is a “bad” trait, another boss may value. What one mom thinks is a ridiculous career choice, another mom may be proud of. What one dad may think is a disappointing house, another dad may be proud of.

Is one person’s definition of “right”, “good”, or “attractive” somehow more correct or more true than others’ definitions? If someone thinks one of our characteristics is “bad” or “not good enough”, this just means we fit that person’s concept of those words. It doesn’t mean we are these concepts.

 

 

How to heal a broken heart? Here is the exercise to do it

 

How to heal a broken heart… how to stop feeling hurt… all you need to do is ask yourself a few questions in order to help you discover that you aren’t “not good enough”. Here are some questions, but it is by no means an exhaustive list of questions. Take a moment now to ask yourself the following questions.

Am I absolutely certain of why they broke up with me or rejected me? Is is possible that they broke up with me because of a different reason? If so, then can I be sure that they really have the negative opinion that I think they have about me? Am I absolutely sure that their opinion about me is true? Could someone else have a different perspective than theirs? If so, can I really be sure that their perspective is true? Is their opinion somehow more true than other people’s opinions? Is it true that just because I care about this person, or they spent a lot of time with me, that their opinion is somehow more valid than other people’s opinions? Am I sure that something about me isn’t “good enough”, or is it just that I happen to fit their specific definition of this word? If they don’t want to be in a relationship with me, am I sure that means that “there’s something wrong with me”, or does it just mean that we aren’t the right fit for each other? When two things don’t fit together, is one of them inherently “worse” and “not good enough”, or is it just not the right fit? Where does “something is wrong with me” or “I’m not good enough” exist? Can I locate it, touch it, pinpoint it, see it, hold it, show it to others? Does “not good enough” exist as a fact, or is it just a thought about a fact? If I can’t physically locate “wrong” or “not good enough”, then can I admit that these concepts only exists as thoughts in my mind? If so, can I admit that it’s not true that “I am not good enough” or “I have something wrong with me”, but rather that I just have a thought that says “I am not good enough” or “there is something wrong with me”? Can I think of any reasons or examples as to why the opposite of their opinion might be true? If so, then can I know with absolute certainty that their opinion about me is true?

 

There is nothing wrong with you

 

These questions are meant to show you that someone else’s opinion doesn’t mean anything about who you are. It doesn’t matter what person rejected you and it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about you… it’s not true that you aren’t “good enough”, it’s not true that you have something missing, it’s not true that there is something “wrong” with you. These are just ideas that don’t exist anywhere but as a thought in one person’s mind. Others’ opinions of you don’t mean anything about you at all. No person’s opinion is true, fact, or valid.

When you truly discover this for yourself, your broken heart will just dissolve.

Thank you for reading and engaging with this post about how to heal a broken heart!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How To Love Yourself:

 

When we love ourselves, we are going to be happy, regardless of our situation or what others think of us. When we don’t love ourselves, we are going to be unhappy, regardless of our situation or what others think of us. Therefore, loving ourselves is quite important. In this blog post, I am going to explain how to love yourself.

 

The Most Popular Tactics To Love Yourself Don’t Work

 

Before we get into exactly how to love yourself, I think it is important to address why the most popular and most common tactics for how to love yourself can’t give you the results that you want.

The 2 most commons tactics that I hear for how to love yourself are:

1)      Positive affirmations

2)      Treating yourself to something physically nice

Both of these tactics are fine. There is nothing wrong with doing either of these. But, if we look at these tactics closely, we can discover why they don’t have the ability give us the love that we are looking to have for ourselves.

 

 

How To Love Yourself: Why Positive Affirmations Don’t Work

 

If I think I am unloveable, then there is a reason why I believe that. If I just tell myself over and over again that I am loveable, it is very unlikely to make me fully believe that I am loveable because this