How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #1) - DeYtH Banger (latest ebook reader .txt) 📗

feel better about yourself. It makes you feel capable.

Personally, I never did any specific “self-esteem exercises” – I just improved my social life with very hands-on methods, like the ones I teach at SocialPro. Thanks to the improvements, people want to hang out with me more.

When people tell you that they love to hang out with you, that makes your self-esteem skyrocket.

Just knowing that you have a close set of friends will boost your self-esteem, too.

That’ll help release the pressure from social interaction:

 

You can be yourself, you can mess up, you can experiment and you can say what you want to say. You might make someone dislike you and it’s not a big deal. Rejection isn’t bad when you have really good friends to fall back on.

That safety will make you feel more at ease, and it’ll help you enjoy life more in general.

 

 

How to deal with hate and criticism

 

 

A week ago I tried setting up an ad on Reddit to promote our free training.

As you know by now, I love hearing what people think about SocialPro. Maybe that’s why SocialPro is so successful today. Naturally, I wanted to allow comments on my ad to hear people’s thoughts.

Checking in after a few hours, I was quite surprised to see the comments.

 

 

You can see all comments here: https://www.reddit.com/comments/7vqyks/heres_a_free_video_training_called_conversation/

It’s fascinating with hate comments like these. Because even if they are from people who don’t know me and clearly hates ads, they still make me sad and uncomfortable.

 

 

Others soon started defending me and the comment field turned into a battlefield. Interestingly enough – the more heated the comments became, the more people signed up with us. So ironically, these hateful people helped us spread our message.

Sometimes when we continue doing something we think is right even when people mock us or hate on us, we get rewarded for it. Why? Because, generally, people avoid criticism. No normal person wants to be in a position where they get negative remarks. But if we can fight through those negative feelings, we can reap the rewards when we come out the other end.

Sometimes criticism is legitimate. This kind of criticism is the most painful one because we know that there’s truth to it. But it’s also a gift because being open to constructive criticism is one of the most powerful ways to improve.

 

 

Then there’s unfounded criticism. That’s the kind of criticism we know isn’t true. Like people telling you that you should kill yourself… If we can continue doing what we know is right despite that criticism, we can stand out from most others.

When was the last time you got criticized? How did you react and what did you learn from it? I’m interested to hear about your experiences with criticism and hate in the comments!

 

 

Interview with Tripp Kramer of Tripp Advice

 

 

 

 

Tripp Kramer runs the blog trippadvice.com, helping guys get over social fears and find great women by being their most attractive and confident selves.

You were shy when you were younger, was there an insight or moment that triggered you to turn it around?

When I was 23 years old I was drinking on the weekends to meet girls. And one night I got so drunk, that I went up and approached a girl and it went terribly.

At this point, I realized that drinking was NOT the solution. I needed to figure out how to meet a girl and be sober.

To me, that seemed like a superpower because you could go up to any woman without having to rely on a crutch. I wanted the ability to talk to any girl at any time and have the chance of getting a date.

How did you manage to go from shy to social and attractive?

I made a pact to go out 5-6 nights/week for 2 years.

 

It was fun, challenging and one of the best decisions I ever made for my life. It was as if I took my own course in socializing and meeting girls.

It helped me overcome all the obstacles in terms of meeting and attracting the women I desire.

You’ve been running Tripp Advice for 7 years now. What motivates you the most?

What motivates me the most is the response I get from guys after they take my program Hooked.

 

 

On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.

It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life". Click here to go to the free training.

 

It’s as if they finally see the light. In my program, I teach them how attraction works and how they can set up any type of dating scenario they are looking for, whether it’s casual relations or a loyal, loving relationship.

Guys take the program, put it in action and see results. Their results are what motivates me to tell as many people as I can about the RIGHT information on attraction.

What piece of information or habit has had the most positive effect on your life socially the last years?

Starting a conversation with anyone and everyone.

Guys like to only start conversations with girls they find attractive. This is a big mistake. DO NOT DO THIS. If you want to practice your social skills, talk to everyone.

 

Guy, girl, waitress, dog (ok maybe not), everyone. This habit of creating conversation makes it easier to connect because you’re practicing. So once you end up in a conversation with a girl you like it will be 10x easier.

What is some realization or understanding about social life that you wish everyone would know?

People are not as mean or scary as you think they are. Give them a shot. Talk to them.

People get nervous to talk to people because they don’t like the feeling of being judged. Most people are NOT judging you. Instead, they are wondering what YOU are thinking of them! So remember that the people you talk to are not going to bite. Talk to everyone and have an open mind.

 

How do you recommend people go about to set themselves up for long-term social success, especially for someone who tends to overthink socially?

 

Start small. And don’t overwhelm yourself.

I would make it a goal to talk to 1 new person a day for a month. That’s it. Just one person. That’s 30 new people every single month. Kind of a lot right? But when you break it down into small chunks it’s not so bad. Make small goals, because small goals turn into big progress.

 

What kind of person should visit your site?

The kind of person who should visit my site is a guy who is lonely, shy and/or scared to talk to women, yet want a beautiful woman in their life. If you’re looking to socialize with high-quality women, then let me teach you the techniques I’ve been using for years.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3.1 - Why Discipline Beats Motivation Every Time (Part 2)

 How to Use Rapport Building to Bond Faster with Anyone

 

 

As humans, it’s in our nature to have the desire to be close with other people. This is why it can be such a detriment to our mental and emotional health when we are lacking in healthy personal relationships.

The term “rapport” describes a relationship between two people who have a good understanding of one another and who are able to communicate well. Learning to build rapport with other people can help you to bond quickly with virtually anyone you meet, and having this skill will benefit you in your career as well as in your personal and social lives.

Mirror and Match

According to Dr. Aldo Civico, “Rapport is the root of effective communication.” The key to building this type of rapport is the strategy of “matching and mirroring” which, he says, is “the skill of assuming someone else’s style of behavior to create rapport.”1

This does not mean mimicking the other person’s behavior, which they will likely perceive as mockery. Instead, it is the ability to make observations about the style of someone’s communication and apply aspects of it to your own communication.

Doing this helps the other person to feel understood, and mutual understanding is essential to developing rapport. It also helps to build trust with the other person, which is an important part of the bonding process.

 

The “mirror and match” strategy can be applied to various components of communication when being used to build rapport with someone: body language, energy level, and tone of voice.

 

1. Match and Mirror: Body Language

 

Body language makes up the majority of your communication with the world, whether you are aware of the messages you’re sending or not. Using the “match and mirror” strategy to adopt certain aspects of a person’s body language will put them at ease and make them more comfortable in your interaction.

Imagine you’re speaking with someone you’ve just met who has a very reserved and calm demeanor. If you approach them with wild gesticulation and are constantly patting them on the back or using other physical means of communication, they will likely feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed by you.

 

 

 

Matching their more reserved body language style will make them feel safe around you and make them more comfortable opening up as you develop your relationship.

On the other hand, if you’re meeting a person with a more active and outgoing body language, using hand gestures as you speak and moving around more the way they do will not only help them to better understand you in your communication, but will also help them to feel more understood as they communicate.

 

Here’s a personal example as evidence that this strategy is effective:

I am not a very “huggy” person. I simply wasn’t raised in a family or community culture where hugging people other than your immediate relatives or significant other is a common practice.

 

But when I began spending time with a new group of people in college, I quickly realized that hugging was a very regular part of their interactions with one another. They hugged when they greeted each other, they hugged when they said goodbye, and they hugged during conversations if things took a more emotional or sentimental turn.

 

For a while I was extremely uncomfortable. This triggered my social anxiety and I would spend the entirety of every social event thinking about how I was going to respond when people inevitably went in for a hug at the end of the evening. But I quickly realized that I was being perceived by the others as standoffish as a result of my hesitation when it came to hugging.

When I began to work on being more willing to match their style of communication through my body language, my relationships with the others in the group finally began to blossom. The “match and mirror” strategy of building rapport worked quickly and effectively, and I ended up getting to know my best friend of six years during that time.

 

2. Match and Mirror: Energy Level

 

Have you ever been engaged in a conversation with someone whose energy level was much higher than your own? You probably began to feel uncomfortable–maybe even annoyed– and were eager to exit the conversation as quickly as possible.

Matching a person’s energy level is an important part of relating to them and making them feel comfortable enough to stick around long enough for you to continue building rapport.

 

If you encounter