How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) - DeYtH Banger (bts book recommendations TXT) 📗

the more dynamic the feelings become.

If you are still in the dark, here are 7 of the most obvious ways to tell if you’ve gone from dating to entering a relationship.

 

Nightlife Goes From Club To Couch

 

 

Before, you used to spend most Saturday nights dating people at a bar, cinema, or restaurant. Now that you’re in an actual relationship, it will no longer matter where you are dating. As long as you’re with your loved one, you’ll be happy.

They Don’t Consume Your Every Thought

Once you’ve already gotten over the infatuation stage and realized that you and your partner are in it for the long haul, you’re less likely to think about him all the time. This, however, doesn’t mean that you’re bad. It’s just your brain showing how settled you are.

 

Arguments Aren’t Disastrous

 

 

In the delicate dating stage, one or two arguments can often spell the end of the romance. When you have settled into a real relationship, the bond between you and your partner is already strong enough that you no longer take silly misunderstandings seriously. Instead, you argue a bit, cool off, and the make up again.

 

They See The Real You

 

During the dating stage, people tend to create the ideal versions of themselves. It’s a way to entice a partner. However, once you have found someone special, you begin to let your guards down and show your real self. You wear less makeup and you pay less attention to how you look.

 

The Future Is Talked About

 

Bringing up what you want in the future is probably one of the worst things you can do when you’re casually dating someone. It’s a sure-fire way to scare somebody off. This changes when you are in a relationship. You find freedom and excitement in discussing what might happen in the next few years.

 

You’re Fully Connected

 

The idea of meeting each other’s friends and family is always a bit awkward when you’re still in the early part of dating. By the time you are in a formal relationship, you probably already know each other’s friends’ first names. You might even be sending them Christmas and birthday cards regularly.

 

Jealousy Is A Distant Memory

 

In a relationship, you no longer have to worry about other men or women paying close attention to your partner. Being in a formal relationship gives you more security since there’s less competition. Apart from that, there’s complete trust in one another, too.

The process of dating and entering a relationship isn’t at all bad. In fact, it’s interesting and exciting. Enjoy while you’re at it.

 

 

 

 

Part 2

"There is nothing permanent except change."

Heraclitus

Chapter 10 - Conversation

 How to End a Conversation Positively

 

 

 

 

Remember the last time you were in a conversation that didn’t end well?

Maybe neither of you had anything left to say. Or the conversation dragged too long and you started counting the times she mentioned her cat?

Perhaps it went well, but Jimmy Fallon would be on in half an hour and you didn’t know how to leave without seeming rude?

So, how to end a conversation positively? It seems simple (and it is), but if you do it well, you increase the chance for future meetings and leave the other person feeling listened to.

Also, getting better at ending conversations can help you start them in the first place. 

First, if you find yourself often running out of things to say, be sure to check out my post on how to keep a conversation going.

 

When to End a Conversation

 

Some places in conversation are better for ending chats than others. This is usually during the natural pauses between topics once the conversation has run its course.

With practice, you can tell when the energy of a topic is dying down.

Let’s say you were discussing a movie and you both gave your opinions. There’s the back and forth about the director, special effects, acting and so on.

At some point, the enthusiasm (energy) for the topic dies down and that’s the moment to begin your exit.
 

How to End a Conversation

 

It’s good to start by making a “final” comment on what you were just talking about. It just sums up or caps off the subject.

In the movie example above, perhaps you say:

“That’s interesting! I never noticed that about The Labyrinth before. I’ll have to watch it again now.”

Then just follow this 3 step process:

 

1. Give a reason why you have to leave. It really is that simple. Even if the reason isn’t entirely true, it’s fine. It’s all part of the “dance” of conversation and social interaction.

Examples:

“Well, look. I have to run because I’m meeting a friend in a bit…”

“Hey look, I need to get home, it’s getting late and tomorrow I have to…”

“Well I’m gonna go mingle around some so I’ll have to catch you a bit later…”

Or if those seem too abrupt for the situation, begin first by saying:

“Look, I’m so sorry, but I have to go because…”

“Y’know it really has been good talking to you, but…”

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’re feeling these sound like you’re just trying to “get away,”  then you’re thinking of them in the wrong “tone of voice.” In other words, say these with true sincerity and it won’t seem harsh.

 

2. Be Gracious. After giving a reason for leaving, express you enjoyed the conversation. This helps transition to leaving and ends things on a positive note.

Examples:

“…it was really nice talking to you, though.”

“…it was really nice meeting you.”

“…I’m so glad we got to hang out for a bit.”

 

3. Restate one or two of the main points you talked about. This is the magic of ending a conversation well. Most people don’t do this, but it makes the other person feel you actually listened during your talk. This can make you stand out in their mind.

Examples:

“Have a great time on your vacation; I’d love to see the pictures when you get back.”

“It was good talking with you about Science Fiction novels. Not everyone is into that…”

“Good luck with your new career move. I hope it works out like you want.”

 

Optional: Suggest a future meeting. This is the perfect time to suggest a future meet up if you truly enjoyed talking to the person. But be specific. Don’t just say, “let’s meet up sometime.”

Instead, say something like:

“I really did have fun talking; how about we get together for a coffee next week? I’ll give you a call.”

Of course this means you’ll need their phone number. So if they seem positive to the suggestion of meeting next week, go ahead and ask for it.
 

Knowing How to End a Conversation Positively Can Help You START Conversations

Knowing how to end a conversation positively gives you power. It gives you the power to control WHEN YOU LEAVE.

 

 

I've hosted MANY house parties and tactfully ending conversations is vital. How else can you mingle with ALL your guests?

Personally, that helped when I was working at getting better socially. I knew if I started to feel anxious or like I was running out of stuff to say, I could make up a reason to leave. That way, things ended on a high note instead of awkwardly.

I could regroup then talk to the same person or group later. Just feeling that little bit extra control (in a situation as chaotic as conversation) gave me more courage. It can do the same for you.

 

Take Action

 

When you’re alone, practice going through the different steps of how to end a conversation listed above. It may sound silly, but that’ll help burn it in your head and make the process smooth.

Then, next conversation you’re in, be the one to end the conversation so you can put the new skill into action.

 

 

 

I Have Fictiophilia and I'm Primarily Attracted to Animated Characters

 

 

I had no idea how long this predilection of mine would last or how much friction it would eventually cause between me and the so-called “normal” members of humanity.

 

 

 

Everyone remembers their first-ever crush. It just so happens that mine was fictional — animated to be precise, as was the one after that, and the one after that.

 

Between Seto Kiba, Tao Ren, Gaara, Byakuya Kuchiki, and many others, I’ve had a (some would say shamefully) long list of paramours of the the two-dimensional variety over my more than 20 years of life. When I first started with Speed Racer as a wee toddler, I had no idea how long this new predilection of mine would last or how much friction it would eventually cause between me and the so-called “normal” members of humanity.

 

Fictiophilia is defined by Urban Dictionary (because it’s not an official word or medically recognized philia) as a sexual attraction primarily to fictional characters, be they written or drawn. In the early '00s, anime had just achieved an absolutely staggering popularity in the US, and the internet made it stupid-easy to gorge on all of it to your geeky heart’s content. And from this upwelling of Asian animation bloomed a particularly active sub-culture of young fictiophiles. Safely hidden from parents or judgmental peers, we were free to talk about everything from which characters we’d most want to kiss to which we’d want to take our virginity.

There’s no official reason or universally accepted theory for why this happened. Some people claim that it’s just more try-hard weirdness from Millennials. A small group of concerned/more-than-slightly xenophobic parents insisted that this newfangled Japanimation was warping good American children’s minds. Even today, narratives diverge greatly: fictiophiles are just sad sacks who can’t get dates in real life; it’s a coping mechanism for exploring hidden desires. The harshest critics posit that people in love with cartoons are just too lazy to deal with a real spouse, or worse, want someone with no will of their own.

 

I’m sure there are people who fit all of those explanations to a T — there are millions of lonely and terrible people in the world — but it doesn’t describe even a small fraction of the people I’ve met. Most of us date real people just fine, and rumor has it some are even (gasp!) married.

 

Growing up in a Southern little-big town, my choices for male attention were largely composed of cornfed mini-football players and boys who thought I “talk funny” because I enunciated. I think it was a bit of culture shock to see male characters who could be called pretty (a huge no-no in our culture) and were also intelligent and complex. It didn’t endear parents to our viewing choices, but apparently I wasn’t alone in having that be very endearing to my downstairs place.

 

I don’t think I was even 10 before